Anyone who tells you that you are paranoid and that people aren't out to get you is probably trying to get you to want to get something from you.

I learned from the past four or so years that no matter who you are, no mater what you do, no matter how much bad you try to avoid in your fucking life, someone, somewhere, wants to get at you in some way, directly or indirectly. Whether you know it or they know it, they are out to get you. If you think you are innocent and that nobody would want to let harm come to you, you probably are in somebody's cross hairs. They want to take advantage of you just to get something out of you that they want and then let you blow away to the winds the instant you are no longer useful to them, or somebody wants you dead because you did something they don't like or because you stand for something they don't like.

I'm telling you this as somebody who has people watching me and hassling me even though I only interact with the outside world for the sake of doing the things I need to survive. I get people watching my internet access and phone calls from outside my home. I get people sabatoging my car because I don't like the pedophile who got elected president, and now I got people sabatoging my friendships via counterfeit money.

If I snap I'm taking some of them with me. I know where some of them are. I know one of you lives in Burton Place and a few of you live in downtown Flint. If I have to be a monster just so I can get some sleep I'll make sure every pulse that wasted it's time fucking with me comes to permanent end.

Thank you for the card Suzumi. I got it awhile back but I was so busy I forgot to say anything. Thank you

Still can't sleep.
I just wanna sleep goddamnit.
The demonsi n my head won't let me sleep, somebody help me get them out.

To the lady who set up YouTube. The president doesn't live there. Try 1600 Pennsylvania Ave mezt time you wanna open fire. At least then the RIGHT people have a chance to die for once.

To the people who sliced off your cars exhaust.

Once my car is fixed I'm coming to find your asses to make sure you don't EVER vandalize shit ever again. One way or another. Maybe I'll break all of your fingers and toes. Maybe I'll cut them off.

I just got your card today. It was really sweet. Thank you so much. It makes this old nihlistic guy happy for Something

I'm sick of all he negative news in the world. Can somebody tell me something positive so I can go a little while without wishing I was dead.

Does anyone even bother to read or care about the depressing ramblings of a man who just wants to either have his peace or be allowed to leave this world.

I guess I could just be alone on my birthday. I like being alone.

I hardly ever feel happy about my birthday anymore. This will be my 33rd and all I wanna do is just distract myself from doing stuff to myself and others. So far I have yet to hurt myself or anyone because I try to distract myslef with meaningless things in life until we die.

I dont know what I want other than I guess some really good sleeping medicine so I can just sleep. I still can't fucking sleep without sleeping meds or marijuana. If I can't sleep at least let me pass time to myself with a cool video game or something. Just anything that makes me forget how badly this works needs to die and makes me wanna kill myself. I don't wanna be sad and angry anymore.